Column headers. Science Gossip. Novermber 1899.
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958) dir. Richard Brooks
i can’t decide if love is fragile or strong
or maybe it’s so strong it makes you fragile
you think i wanna be your fucking friend?
you think i spent hours on the phone with you to be your fucking friend?
you think i waited weeks to see your name appear on my stupid screen to be your fucking friend?
you think i gave you my days and let you encapsulate my nights to be your fucking friend?
you think i gave you a permanent space in my mind, if not a goddamn three bedroom apartment, to be your fucking friend?
you don’t know me at all, do you?
the notion of you has me suffocated by what-ifs
how could you not tell me i was hurting you?
do you know how much it kills me that you never bothered to say you had second thoughts?
all i wanted was to save you. hold you. have you.
and you sabotoged that before i could salvage it.
did losing me hurt you the way it hurt me?
do you wonder what could have been if you’d just held on a little longer?
because i do. all the time.
i think about how you would have loved me. supported me. enchanted me. as we grew into the people we were always meant to be.
in the end you chose new. you chose the thrill. you chose the chase.
i’ll choose what’s best for me every time, and i thought that was you. i thought it was always you.
but it was meant to be me.
that’s what i hate about you.
before i knew you, i didn’t have a weak spot.
i only have a weak spot when i fall in love.
being in love with you made life feel like a movie
but i’m meant for a lot more than a love story
if the way i looked in a dress is the only reason i still cross your mind,
honey maybe you never loved me the way i thought you did
it’s really kinda funny, when you think about it
the way you can go from not caring at all to caring way too much for your own good.
and i can feel myself slipping from the former into the latter,
which means it’s once again time to tighten the reigns on my heart.
i just can’t afford to care right now.
stop saying that you miss him
you don’t know him.
stop thinking you could love him.
you’ll only get burned again.
you know how this story goes. you do all the litmus tests, give him your mental space, only to lose interest because you realize you’re better off alone.
stop trying so hard to find love. let go and let it find you when you’re ready.
